Many people know that in my 20s I lost a lot of babies to miscarriage. Because of the medical issues it’s hard to know exactly, but likely more than 12 angel babies came our way. A conversation with Sandra, my best friend of 45 or so years, last night reminded me of them. Not in a sad way, more a sense of heightened awareness.
When all that was happening I was living in Auckland and Wellington. I’d ring Mum often to tell her what was happening — Mum the nurse thinks I’m pregnant. Mum the baby has gone. Mum the pregnancy test was neutral, so they think I might be pregnant. Mum the baby is gone. Mum the Dr is suggesting we try this…
Mum listened patiently, without offering too much sympathy as she knew I had to hold myself together. She and Dad only had my sister Ailsa and I, and there’s more than a decade between us. I know she wanted more children but it never happened, and Dad loved all kids. I wonder how hard it was for them listening to me?
It always looked to me like Mum was a great Grandma to Ailsa’s children. They were lucky to have Mum in their lives and she loved them. There’s an ending to this that I am not going to write because it involves someone else’s child, and I have cried a little for my babies this morning but know, as always, that love remains.
A couple of years ago I wrote this. Since the car accident my wrist has been really bad a couple of times and here we go again. I am typing and mousing left handed. I can barely grip a pen or dress myself. I have two wrist braces but can’t use the better one with my walking stick because of the metal bar through the palm so have to swap to a softer one some of the time. Between Tony and I we are quite a pair!
Photocopies, silver gel pen, collage scraps, Marvy gold pen, Stencil Girl stencils, gesso, fluid acrylics, Distress paints, Distress inks, fine black pen, Tim Holtz stencils.
Stencils, acrylic paints, Derwent Artbars, hand made HIM stencil, Gelli print scraps, scrapbooking paper, calligraphy pen, silver pen, paper masks, brayer, rub on lettering. And, yes, I did accidentally stamp HIM with the card the wrong way up!
Old metal printing plate of Patea County, alcohol inks, Distress Inks, acrylic paint, Tim Holtz stencil, gesso, Kaiser Craft bits and pieces, fine bronze Golden fluid acrylic, calligraphy pen, Dyan Reaveley rubber stamps, Sharpies, printed song lyrics.
Tissue paper, scrapbook paper scraps, Dylusions rubber stamps, calligraphy pen, Gelli print scraps, Stencil Girl stencils, Archival ink, acrylic paint, various marker pens, Golden fluro paint, gesso, white gel pen. (I’ve posted two week’s worth today, as I forgot to upload last weekend – I was so busy painting!)