My shoulder and wrist are still quite sore if I do too much (please, never ever drink and drive – your careless actions could change someone else’s life forever), but I *needed* some art time. I grabbed some gelli print tissue paper, the June Stencil Girl stencils, a green Posca pen – which shows as white in the scan, and a fine black pen and got to work. The quotes in the circles through the centre are from Wishes Fulfilled by Dr Wayne W Dyer. I’ve been a fan of is writing for many years, and have been listening to this on audio as I drive to and from work each day.
Many people know that in my 20s I lost a lot of babies to miscarriage. Because of the medical issues it’s hard to know exactly, but likely more than 12 angel babies came our way. A conversation with Sandra, my best friend of 45 or so years, last night reminded me of them. Not in a sad way, more a sense of heightened awareness.
When all that was happening I was living in Auckland and Wellington. I’d ring Mum often to tell her what was happening — Mum the nurse thinks I’m pregnant. Mum the baby has gone. Mum the pregnancy test was neutral, so they think I might be pregnant. Mum the baby is gone. Mum the Dr is suggesting we try this…
Mum listened patiently, without offering too much sympathy as she knew I had to hold myself together. She and Dad only had my sister Ailsa and I, and there’s more than a decade between us. I know she wanted more children but it never happened, and Dad loved all kids. I wonder how hard it was for them listening to me?
It always looked to me like Mum was a great Grandma to Ailsa’s children. They were lucky to have Mum in their lives and she loved them. There’s an ending to this that I am not going to write because it involves someone else’s child, and I have cried a little for my babies this morning but know, as always, that love remains.
A couple of years ago I wrote this. Since the car accident my wrist has been really bad a couple of times and here we go again. I am typing and mousing left handed. I can barely grip a pen or dress myself. I have two wrist braces but can’t use the better one with my walking stick because of the metal bar through the palm so have to swap to a softer one some of the time. Between Tony and I we are quite a pair!