A different kind of Christmas

When life changes sometimes the impacts are obvious, and other times there’s what a friend would call collateral damage that keeps on appearing for ages afterwards. Last year I had my birthday on the 11th December, Mum died on the 15th December and, to be honest, I have no recollection of Christmas Day 2012 at all. By New Year’s Eve I was at A&E as a result of damage collateral damage to my wrist, caused by injury to my shoulder in a car accident 6 months earlier. This year my sister, brother-in-law and nephew came down for early Christmas on the 14th and we out Mum’s ashes in with Dad on the 15th.

So what does Christmas Day mean to us now? I’m not sure to be honest. A phone call to Tony’s daughter and grandson, to my sister and her family, and Tony’s brother. Connecting with a few people via email and Twitter. My best friend’s birthday. What does all that mean to me? Not a lot really. I could phone them any time, and do.

I’m not a Christian, I have no children of my own, and none of our extended family lives close. We choose to stay home because of our pets, as we don’t think it’s fair to ask others to housesit at this time of year. Really it doesn’t mean a lot to me, but I guess over time we’ll find ways of making it special for us as a couple; with Tony unwell our guess our focus is on other things.

What I do have is a greater understanding than ever before of how hard Christmas can be for some people. A Twitter friend, a librarian in Australia, said as someone who suffers from depression she started the day “bawling at 7am”. My heart goes out to her and all those who are feeling similarly lonely or sad. Whatever today means to you, stay safe and be kind to yourself.

3 thoughts on “A different kind of Christmas

  1. I can relate, though I lost my mother six years ago (and my father isn’t really in my life). This is the first year both of my children are old enough that Christmas isn’t nearly as exciting as it was in the days of Santa. Neither even had a list for me this year, and my youngest is only 12. Packing up the car to drive to my mother’s for Christmas is still a memory that feels like yesterday to me, and I miss it. Losing the magic with the kids just drives that home more. Thanks for sharing your experience. Best to you and yours.


  2. I can relate to your post. My mother in law passed away on the 17 December this year. She had the whole Christmas planned out and just wanted her grandchildren to swim. At least she got her wish. I am Christian and celebrate this day. I will pray that you may find the love of Jesus. Merry Christmas


  3. I’m not a Christian either. For me the holidays are about endings and beginnings, and are meant to bring people of all persuasions together in peace and love, and serve as a reminder that there is suffering all around us and people who need us. I reach out where I can, and try to help someone in need in my own small way, or lately it’s been the shelter pets and their tireless helpers. We’re like you and Tony — we don’t get out much because of our animals. So we visit relatives and friends via facebook and sometimes skype. I’m always glad when the holidays are over, because it becomes blissfully quiet for a couple of weeks as everyone else gets back to their own routine. It’s a wonderful, creative, reflective time. Sending love right now. I know you have another big hurdle coming up, and I’ll be thinking of you and Tony.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s