Rolling on

Early last week Tony’s car was picked up by our car dealer; we’ve been dealing with same car dealership for almost 30 years and they were happy to buy it back. On Tuesday Tony’s 2nd pre-loved scooter arrived – he took it out onto the road & back but that was all.

My sister Ailsa came down for the weekend and yesterday she went for a walk up town, so Tony went with her on his scooter. It seemed to go well and there’s okay crossings the whole way.

Ailsa gave me hand to do some of the household jobs I can’t manage, while I cleaned the kitchen windows, rangehood and took the stovetop apart for a good clean. I got up and down off a kitchen chair a few times and my knees have had enough. I’ll be taking it easy for the rest of the day and waiting for the Brufen to kick in.

Goldie has finally discovered, at 15, that getting onto our knee for a cuddle is actually ok. Until now she’s sat on the arm of the chair and put her front feet on your lap. Today she got onto Ailsa’s knee for a pat and was purring. Goldie was a semi-stray and it was Ailsa who rescued her as a kitten – we always say it’s Ailsa’s fault 😉

My pages reflect my life

If you’ve ever wondered if my art journal pages reflect what’s happening in my life – these pages should give you the answer! I art what’s in my heart and soul; my pages are me downloading my head and healing my heart. I’ve been inspired by Niamh Baly on YouTube recently. The page above was sparked by watching her creating using layers. She often handwrites quotes and I decided to give it a try. I’m pleased I did – thanks Niamh! The page below uses a new rubber stamp set from Dina Wakley media which I know I’m going to get a lot of use from.

Accepting change

Change – sometimes we fight it, sometimes we accept it. Our lives are changing a lot at the moment and, for the most part, we’re accepting it with (fairly) good grace. That doesn’t mean we like it, but we know fighting it will only make it worse.

Oddly, for me, as Tony’s health has got worse over the last few months I haven’t said much on FB. Twitter is my late night support, so I’ve been more upfront there. Perhaps I haven’t wanted to deal with people who know me – know us – reading about it? I’ll come back to that thought. Twitter is more anonymous, despite being a group of people who provide me enormous support.

Since Tony’s last two stays in Base Hospital, including HDU, his health and quality of life have deteriorated. The list of medical issues we’re dealing with has got longer – as one Dr said “we’re dealing with multiple significant health issues and it’s a juggle”. Tony’s decided we won’t investigate anything new, we’ll just deal with existing issues, and I support his decision. As a result he’s cancelled some scheduled tests.

He’s on serious pain relief, and has some memory and cognition issues too as a result of his vascular problems. Tony doesn’t feel as confident driving any more – something he’s always loved – and, combined with the medical issues, has decided to sell his car. Next week he’ll be getting a wee red mobility scooter so he can zoom up town and buy milk etc.

It’s a big change for us. He can’t go and visits friends on his own. Vet trips with our ancient cat are up to me, as is buying the groceries and so on. On a good day he might decide to use my car, but I doubt it. And of course we’ll need to use Standby for all his out-of-town medical appointments.

So, lots of changes. And not great ones either. But it’s ok … and we’re ok.

And coming back to writing this for the people who know us personally. I now when I’m talking to people at work, like my boss, I am very matter of fact. It’s not that I’m not feeling it. It’s the opposite. I can’t afford to start talking about the emotional side most of the time – there are a few people I rely on, and everyone else gets “just the facts maam”.