I guess it’s update time. Unusually for me, I’m not sure what to say (sort of…)
We’re getting Tony’s pain under control, but it means he is very sleepy, sometimes dozing or sleeping for 14 hours. I don’t mind as long as he’s not in pain. I don’t take it personally when he falls asleep while I’m talking and just keep going, otherwise I’d be saying the same thing over and over – which neither of us would enjoy. Sure, he misses the thread of what I’m saying, but it doesn’t really matter; half the time I’m just waffling about nothing much anyway!
Tony can seem quite good but today, for instance, friends visited for under an hour. He’s had two extra lots of pain relief since they left and has been asleep for just on three hours now. Yet they probably went away thinking he’s doing great… It’s good for him to see people though, and that’s what the pain relief is for.
The Hospice staff continue to be a total miracle, sorting out medication and script issues with no drama. I can’t believe how much pressure they have taken off me already.
I had a lovely break on the West Coast. I stayed with Alan in Hokitika; I slept a lot, went out on the farm, up the Taramakau River is his jet boar, patted the dogs and played in my art journals. My dear friend Penny and I went out for lunches, visited a fabulous art exhibition at Left Bank Art Gallery and talked about “all the things”. I’m so grateful to both of them for the love, light and rest they bring to my life.
Speaking of thanks – my best friend of forever (okay, 52 years?) Sandra is always beside me in spirit, and my sister Ailsa is on the end of a Viber message any hour of the day or night if I need to talk. We all need people like this in our lives.
And my art – the place where I pour out the feelings and the worries, and pack them away so I can keep doing the doing. Things are tricky but we’re in a fortunate position – we have Tony’s brother Roger with us, I have a great job with an understanding boss & supportive employer, a warm house and supportive friends and family. #LoveRemains
Cath Sheard 