Every year I join #olw – One Little Word with Ali Edwards. In 2019 my word was ‘deep’- you can read about why I chose it here. In previous years I’ve had prepared, intention, mapping, balance, calm, and determined. My word lives on the wall above my desk, as a reminder of what I want to do and who (how) I want to be. This year my word is TRUST.
Did ‘deep’ work for me? Yes, mainly. It encouraged me think deeply about issues; not always easy when we’re accustomed to 140-character tweets as conversation. It reminded to dig deep personally so, despite physical pain, I have gone from 4,000 to 6,500 steps a day. I learned to dig deep emotionally, to understand the many things contributing to my addictive nature and unravel some of the (deep) pain that drives self-soothing with food.
So, why ‘trust’? Last year I tested a few words, thinking about their meanings and what could work for me. Today I was doodling with a white pen in my new black Dylusions journal and, without thinking, grabbed my favourite alphabet stamps. Before I had time to realise what I was doing, I had stamped TRUST on the page. Ok then, that’s a pretty clear message from my subconscious!
What do I think TRUST might mean for me in 2020? I will TRUST:
- my artistic process
- my instincts about people and situations
- that everything will be ok whatever happens with Tony’s health
- myself to eat properly to maintain my weight
- in the process for building our new multi-use library
- myself to balance work and leisure for my wellbeing
- the universe to look after my best interests
For the last two nights I have woken up and been able to smell a woman’s old-fashioned perfume – pansies or African violets maybe? And the smell of a man, from decades ago, who smoked, mixed with something else I couldn’t quite identify. My brother-in-law is a fragrance aficionado and strongly connects smells with memories. I thought I knew what I was smelling so asked him tonight, without saying why I was asking.
Sure enough, I’m describing Roger and Tony’s Mum and Dad. She wore Coty Lily of the Valley, he sometimes smoked a pipe. Tony helped me identify the rest of the smell, probably leather and leather work dyes etc. That feels right to me.
Why are they visiting us (me)? Not sure. Probably just to let me know they’re around and everything is ok with Tony.
Done in my large Dylusions journal. Inks: Slate grey, Crushed grape, After midnight, White linen. Paints: Crushed grape, Laidback lilac. Stencils: Shutters, Diamonds in the rough, Squares. Stamps: Dy’s alphabet. Other: Pitt Big Brush pen, Distress ink, Archival ink, Distress collage medium, white gel pen, black Uniball pen.
I’ve got a friend who constantly wishes their live was different, but can’t quite take the steps needed to make the changes they want. They tried to change their life more than a year ago but didn’t fully commit to it, so of course it didn’t work out. I firmly believe the Universe can only act when we are 100% committed in words and actions. If we’re unclear, the Universe can’t act. So often, the things we want are quite ordinary and well within our grasp if only we’d step out in a mindset of trust.
This page was done in my Dina Wakley mixed media journal. Supplies: Golden fluid acrylics (Teal, Paynes Grey, Indian yellow, Alizarin crimson), Derwent Artbar, Stampendous Aged Embossing powder, Tim Holtz stencil, Ranger Distress collage medium, Pitt Big Brush pen (walnut), Tim Holtz collage words and figures.
Gelatos, water soluble oil pastels, acrylic, stencil, Liquitex acrylic pen, black pen,Sakura white gel roller, collage.
Why ‘trust’? Today Tony has an invasive test done in Hamilton, 4 hours away, and I had to trust the surgeon, hospital staff etc with his care without me being there. Not easy. I also entrusted him to my best friend Sandra’s care, but I would (do) trust her with his life. That’s an easy one…
The piece I’m working on was looking quite ‘pretty’ but I knew it needed an ancient wall. This meant trusting my instinct and being prepared to act – something I have been not so good at in recent times. with my art This afternoon I took a deep breath, made a mask, grabbed some brown and black inks and started making an ancient wall right over the top of the some of the prettiness. It feels good to be trusting myself to grab paint and go for gold. Here are some detail shots (in reverse order – oops)